


Love Made Visible

by adamngoodbatch (sibbed)



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Restaurant, Alternate Universe - Romantic Comedy, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chef Eddie Diaz, Chef Evan Buckley, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Good Parent Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Grief/Mourning, Grieving Christopher Diaz, Grieving Eddie Diaz, M/M, Minor Character Death, No Reservations AU, Role Reversal, Therapy, Wakes & Funerals, idiots to lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:15:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26582743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sibbed/pseuds/adamngoodbatch
Summary: Eddie's having the worst time of his life when Shannon, his best friend and the mother of his son, is killed in an accident. Grieving isn't easy and to make matters worse, young, brilliant and arrogant Evan Buckley comes in as his new sous chef, constantly getting on his nerves. But could this guy actually be a part of Eddie's healing process and will their shared passion in the kitchen lead to something more?
Relationships: Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Eddie Diaz & Howie "Chimney" Han & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Eddie Diaz & Shannon Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 35
Kudos: 87





	1. Aperitif

**Author's Note:**

> This fic exist solely because of the buddie discord and their constant support.
> 
> My eternal thanks to my friend [matan4il](https://archiveofourown.org/users/matan4il) for the never-ending hand-holding, brainstorming, and excellent beta work. 
> 
> Cover art by the magnificent [Ro_Nordmann](https://ronordmann.tumblr.com/)

_Coriandre_

_With farm to table sustainable ingredients._

_Displaying the distinct culinary perspective of Chef Edmundo Diaz, our cuisine is expressed through bold yet refined flavors, while remaining mild in heat and full of flavor. Preparations demonstrate elements of long-established tradition, while finished dishes are showcased with modern appeal._

_Tasting menus are available by prior arrangement with the chef._

* * *

“Okay, people, last one for the night. Appetizers, one crab, one shrimp and one flan.” Chef Eddie Diaz loves his job. The kitchen is the place where he’s most comfortable. Three years ago, right before turning thirty, he managed to land a job as Executive Chef at Coriandre, a Mexican haute cuisine restaurant.

“Yes, Chef,” a few staffers answer back as they usually do.

Eddie moves on to check on the entreés ordered by what’s supposed to be the last table served for the night. “Hen, get me one beef and one barramundi. And guys, please, hurry that chile relleno. I asked for it too long ago to count.”

“Yes, Chef. Sorry, Chef.”

The team they’ve built with Abby, the restaurant’s owner, makes him feel at home every night.

“Chim, you’ve got one Kahlua cheesecake, one pudding.”

“On it!”

* * *

Eddie finds himself alone when he gets home, Shannon and Christopher have been away for the last week on a visit to her mother. They’re only four hours away and supposed to be returning the next day, but he misses his family.

He goes through the motions of his nightly routine, taking his time in the shower, pouring himself a glass of water, brushing his teeth, and changing into his pajamas. 

He’d met Shannon a lifetime ago, when he was seventeen and his life was still full of possibilities. Back then, they were young and unburdened and fearless. He’d never considered they would eventually find themselves where they’re standing today. She’s his best friend; always has been. Even from a distance. Even when they had spent two years without talking to each other.

After he returned to Los Angeles from his two years in Paris, working under the tutelage of the very best of French cuisine, Shannon had made sure to reconnect with him.

They’d met when he was a mere blueprint of the man he is today, and she helped him transform into his current, better self. They’d grown into adults together. And now they share everything in life, including a son that has been the ultimate blessing for the both of them.

The decision to bring Christopher into their lives had been an easy one. They’d both wanted kids, were single, and loved each other. Nothing could beat having a kid with your best friend. So for once in Eddie’s life, the decision hadn’t been the problem. The issue had been the proceedings. They’d needed to find a way to get it done without the intercourse part of the ritual.

They’d been living together for three years, they’d researched their options and decided on making a consultation visit at a fertility clinic. The road to becoming parents had been long and complicated. For both Shannon and Eddie.

Shannon had had to endure the most physical taxing part of the ordeal. But Eddie had been there for her as much as he could. After the first two tries hadn’t worked, Shannon had started to consider abandoning ship. Her mind and body had been suffering from the exhaustion that the strict demands of the treatment had been putting on her. They’d made the decision together to try one last time. Shannon had warned Eddie this time would have to be it. 

If it won’t happen, they’d have to think of some other way to be parents.

Eddie still remembers vividly the moment they’d gotten the call from the clinic. The anticipation he felt when Shannon nodded at him, and her smile, bright and pure. He remembers the tears in his eyes and the warm trail they left down his cheeks, the eagerness in his chest, the thousands of butterflies waging a battle in his stomach.

He remembers the hug they shared.

Finally, at nearly two a.m, he manages to go to sleep.

* * *

The morning blends into the afternoon with an irreverence that bothers Eddie. By three p.m, he’s getting ready to go to work. His phone rings and he considers letting it go to voicemail, since he’s already late for his meeting with Abby, but when he notices it’s Shannon calling him, he decides to pick up.

“Hey, Shan.”

“Eddie dearest.”

“Is Chris there with you?”

“Daddy!”

“Hey, Superman! How was the trip? How’s granny?” Eddie asks.

“It was awesome, we had so much fun. Right, Chris?”

Eddie can hear Christopher cheering in the background. “What time should I expect you two?”

“I think seven p.m. We just left and might be running a little late, but we’ll make it for dinner with you.”

“I’ll be out by nine,” Eddie clarifies.

There’s silence on the other end of the line for a few seconds until Shannon answers. “Great, see you soon, then.”

“Love you.”

“Say bye, Christopher.”

“Bye, Christopher!” Chris parrots back and giggles.

Eddie cackles. “You’re so funny, huh?”

“Always, dad. Always.”

“Bye, guys.”

“Love you, Eddie.”

* * *

He’s at work when he gets the call that would change his entire life. At first, he refuses to pick up the phone as he usually does. There were no distractions allowed in his kitchen. But Hen looks at him funny and something tells him he should pick up.

He looks at the clock on the wall. Seven-thirty p.m. It’s probably Shannon, letting him know they’re already home and inquiring what’s for dinner.

He grabs the phone from Hen’s hand and opens his mouth to talk, when his whole world comes colliding in on itself.

“There’s been an accident,” someone says on the other end of the line. He’s frozen. His body won’t react even though his mind is going ten thousand miles a minute. His thoughts are racing from Christopher to Shannon to the hospital to the car to the accident and its countless possibilities. 

There are tears running down his cheeks and a hand on his shoulder, but he can’t register anything else. Maybe it’s been hours, maybe seconds, it could have been minutes too, for all he knows. He doesn’t know what happened, where he is or who’s grabbing him.

“Eddie,” Abby tries gently, “Eddie, come on, you have to go. Now.”

He shakes his head and then his body stiffens. “I-”

“It’s okay, listen, it’s okay. Chim and Hen will cover for you, just go.”

He drives on autopilot to the hospital and by some miracle, he arrives safely. He rushes through the lobby, hallways and waiting rooms until he finds someone that can answer all the questions that are spinning out in his mind.

“There was nothing we could do…” it sounds muffled, like a whisper from beyond, but it’s the doctor confirming his suspicions. Shannon is gone. She’s gone and there’s nothing the doctors can do about it. There’s nothing _he_ can do about it.

A sob escapes his lips. “Christopher?”

“Your son is okay. He’s got a dislocated shoulder and a mild concussion.” 

Compared to Shannon’s injuries, Chris mostly got out unscathed. Eddie suddenly suspects his son most likely doesn’t know his mother is gone. He tries to still his mind for a second and looks at the doctor. “Does he know?”

“About his mom? No, Mr. Diaz, we thought it’d be better coming from you. In these cases, it’s usually better if the news comes from family. But I can be there if you want me to.”

“No. Shit. No, sorry. It’s okay, I’ll tell him.”

“He’s in room 303. And again, I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Okay,” Eddie answers as he starts walking out of sight of the doctor. All he wants right now is to see his son. And hug him and never ever let him go.

He needs to take a detour before facing Chris. Eddie walks into the restrooms and stares at his reflection. His eyes and cheeks are red. His lower lip wobbles with every shaky breath he takes. He splashes water on his face. The shock of the coldness against his burning hot cheeks makes him shiver.

“You can do this. He needs you. Just be here, be present. You are here,” he murmurs like a mantra to himself. 

When he enters Chris’ room, he finds his son sleeping, pain clearly visible on his face. He has a shoulder brace holding his arm next to his body. He looks too small and fragile in his big hospital bed. Eddie takes a step closer, trying to avoid waking him, and plants a soft kiss on his forehead. Chris stirs and blinks, a pout spread on his face. 

“Sleep, tomorrow will be better than today.”

“Love you, daddy.”

“Love you more.”

It’s well past nine p.m. when he finally throws himself on the chair beside the bed. He picks up his phone and sends Abby a text.

_Won’t be able to come in tomorrow. I probably won’t come in for a few days._

_Okay._ _Let me know if you need anything._

_I’ll call you tomorrow. Thank you._

Despite what it might seem like sometimes, Abby plays an important role in Eddie’s life. She’s his boss and employer, and Eddie trusts her. He knows the feeling is mutual, too. They have an amicable work relationship, even if they don’t consider each other to be friends. 

But if he has to point out who his friends are, then, well, that’d be complicated. Hen and Chimney are colleagues, and close ones at that. He knows they are friends with each other, but he’s never gotten to be in the inner circle and sometimes that hurt. He knows it’s his fault, he’s become an expert in keeping people at bay, but when he watches them laugh and play around, sometimes he craves being a part of that.

He’s falling asleep with his phone in his hand when he hears a text chime in.

_Whatever you need, we’re here for you. We love you. Chim & Hen. _

_Thank you, guys._

He wakes up when the sunlight starts lighting up the room. The curtains are drawn and there’s still sunlight everywhere. A nurse comes in and starts moving things around and Eddie makes the decision to open his eyes. He looks at Chris who’s staring at him.

“Mom’s dead, isn’t she?” he asks without any preamble. It’s easy for Eddie to see the hurt behind the question. Eddie feels the tears well up in his eyes as he nods.

“Yes, Chris, she’s gone, she- she didn’t make it.”

Chris’ chin shakes and tears start rolling down his cheeks. He curls in on himself and Eddie grabs his hand and squeezes. “I’m here, baby. I’m here.” Chris retreats further away from him, but Eddie knows his son. He won’t let him be as closed off as he is. He climbs on the bed with Chris and holds him as tightly as he can. Chris winces when Eddie shifts them.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Chris.” 

“No. No. I want mom.” He tries to break free from the embrace, but Eddie keeps his hold tight and steady. “I want my mom.”

* * *

Eddie takes the following days off. Christopher needs him and he’s going to be there for his son. Abby doesn’t question it and Hen and Chimney keep him in the loop of the most relevant things going on in the kitchen, without ever getting to the point of being overbearing.

The day of the funeral comes around too soon. Eddie doesn’t feel ready to say his final goodbyes to his best friend, to the mother of his child, to the woman that helped him become a man worthy of love. He talks to Christopher about it, comforting him while explaining how a funeral proceeds and what would be happening during that day. Eddie and Shannon had always wanted transparency in their parenthood. 

He lets his parents and sisters know when and where the funeral would be taking place, but he doesn’t expect much from them. He knows Sophia, his younger sister, would absolutely be there for him, but he doubts anyone else would show their faces.

They walk into the cemetery with the sun shining in the afternoon sky. Christopher, for the first time in years, asks to be carried and Eddie can’t say no to those teary eyes. He takes Chris’ crutches in one hand and grabs him to pull him up.

“I’m going to have to put you down when I give the speech, okay?”

Christopher nods timidly. “Auntie So is coming, right?”

“Yes. And Abuela Isabel, too.”

“Okay, then I’ll stay with them.”

There’s an atrium behind the casket and a few chairs scattered around on the grass. Eddie notices there are already a few people chatting around them, but he can’t determine who they are. Probably Shannon’s coworkers. He walks a few more steps and his sister pats him on the shoulder.

“Brother of mine,” Sofia greets him.

“Sis.”

“And my favorite person in the whole world,” she beams at Christopher. He smiles back at her.

“Daddy, it’s okay to put me down now.”

“Okay, Superman,” Eddie complies, gently dropping his son at his sister’s feet. “I have to go up there, okay?” he says as he points to the atrium.

“I love you, dad.”

“I love you too, always.”

The brightness and warmth of the sunlight flood Eddie with a sense of resolve. He’s going to survive this, thanks to and for Shannon. He takes out a paper from his pocket. It’s a drawing from Christopher, it illustrates Shannon and Eddie holding hands and Chris in the middle with a gigantic smile on his face. He drew it a few years ago, after Shannon returned from one of her longest book tours. Eddie plants a kiss on the drawing and leaves it over the casket when he walks past it towards the atrium.

“Shannon was inspiring. She had a vibrant quality to her and she lit up the room wherever she was. She was very much loved by her family and friends because of her free spirit and warm soul. Shannon is- was my best friend. She’s the mother of my child and she will forever have a place in my heart. She used to tell me I was stubborn as a mule, and she was right. I mean, she was always right, but she was also stubborn as hell. She’d never let me get away with my nonsense and I loved her for that. She was always there, willing to lend a hand. We’ve been through a lot together, through hell and high water, but we always fought to come back home, to come back to Christopher. It’s been four days since-” Eddie coughs to try and clear his throat, the undying sorrow stuck to his palate, “-since she left and I see her walking around the house, and preparing breakfast for Chris. I can still smell the charred bacon. Even though she lived with a chef, Shannon couldn’t cook to save her life. In the kitchen, she was a lost cause. Outside of the kitchen, she was everything and more. She was my rock, my solid ground when everything else seemed fleeting.” Eddie tries to smile, but it comes out flat. He hears a few chuckles from the crowd. 

“She gave me a family when I was lost and now all I can hope for is that she knew that she had a family with me too. She will be dearly missed, but she will also be remembered every single day, by me, but most importantly, by our son.”

He finishes the eulogy with tears rolling down his cheeks and a blurry vision. He walks to Christopher and pulls him up again. This time, he does it because he’s the one needing to indulge in affection from his son.

People around him hug them and kiss them and pass their condolences, but Eddie doesn’t register anything other than the casket being on the ground and his son in his arms.

At some point, someone, he figures it must be Sophia, guides him to a car.

When he blinks away a few lingering tears, the car is moving.

When he opens his eyes again, he’s in his bed with Christopher by his side.


	2. Aperitivo

Eddie wakes up with a start. His heart starts beating faster and faster when he perceives the absence of Christopher near him. He hears laughter coming from the living room and a breath that had been caught in his lungs is released with ease. Sophia and Chris must be having breakfast. The thought alone of his sister taking care of his son makes his heart rate settle into a normal pace. He checks his phone and the clock says it’s ten a.m. There’s a wide collection of unanswered texts and emails waiting for him. 

His walk to the kitchen is in utter silence. He’s trying to overhear whatever Sophia and Chris are talking and laughing about before he makes his appearance.

“Tía, are you staying today too?” Chris asks.

“Yes, of course, baby. I have to go back to work tomorrow, but today? Today I’m all yours.”

“Can we bake a cake? Together?”

“Sure… Chocolate?” Sophia directs a lopsided smile at Eddie as he walks into view. She turns to look at Chris. “But first, go brush your teeth.”

“Morning, Chris,” Eddie greets his son and plants a kiss on Chris’ curls, as he grabs his sister by the shoulder. “Sis.” 

“Morning, daddy,” Christopher replies walking away from them.

“So, I wanted to ask if it’s okay if you can stay tonight to watch Chris? I have to go to work.”

“Are you sure you want to go back today? I mean, the funeral was-”

“I need it. I can’t-” Eddie clears his throat and pours himself a cup of coffee. “I need it.”

“Alright, I’ll be here. Of course I’ll be here, don’t worry.”

* * *

Walking into the kitchen settles something deep inside of Eddie’s soul. He’s right where he belongs.

Even when Abby is bickering at him and questioning his motives to be there. Even when Hen and Chimney are staring at him in disbelief. This feels right. And knowing Chris is safe and happy with his sister helps quiet his mind.

His team has everything ready to kick off the night. He knows they are all well-trained and capable of going through a few days of work without him. Honestly, this is the most selfish thing he can do, but it’s something he needs and he’s going to have to forgive himself for it.

After the first couple of orders are done and out of the kitchen, Abby struts in with a huge smile on her face. “Eddie, Fonseca and Sears are here. They want to tell you how amazing and brilliant you are.”

“Thank them for me, Abby,” Eddie replies without looking up from the sauce he’s stirring. He hates going out of the kitchen, but he knows it’s a part of his job. Some customers need to see and talk to him and treat him like a rockstar.

“Eddie, at least say hello.”

“Just tell them that _brilliant_ chefs belong in the kitchen.”

“Come on, they’re some of my best customers,” Abby pleads. “Also, they adore you.”

“Fine, in a minute.”

After greeting a few customers who had been added to the list of people thinking Eddie was a rockstar, along with Fonseca and Sears, he feels the night settle between laughs and jokes from the staff, as almost every night does. Eddie finds himself chuckling once or twice and a pang of guilt sets deep inside his chest. He does his job and helps everyone around the kitchen, but there’s an unease that won’t go away.

“Eddie, I forgot to mention, there’s a package for you on your desk,” Abby lets him know right after peak hour is over.

“What is it?”

“Shannon’s editor dropped it yesterday. It looks like a book.”

It must be a copy of Shannon’s last book. She was supposed to go on a tour next month with a new book, but she wouldn’t say a word about it. “It’s a surprise, Edmundo,” she said every single time he asked about it. He goes to his desk and grabs the package. As he peels the wraps, he reads the title: _A Bee Named Cee._ Eddie immediately recognizes the drawing on the cover. ‘A surprise’, she had said. It’s one of Christopher’s pieces of art from back when he was obsessed with bees a year ago. There’s a note attached to the book.

_Dear Christopher, I'm sure you're wondering what this is. I know there were times I was away for far too long and I missed so many things in your life. So I wrote this book for you, baby. To remind you that as bees do, I will always find my way back home to you. I love you and I want all the best things in life for you. You are a beautiful, amazing boy. I want your life to be happy and free and full of joy. Always know that I love you. Even if it's from a distance._

Eddie stumbles into the walk-in freezer and slides down to the floor. His ass touches the cold floor and he stretches his legs. The note feels too heavy in his hands. He stares at it in disbelief. ‘A surprise’, Shannon had said. He reads the note again. And again. Tears start welling up in his eyes by the fourth time his eyes go over the words. Once the first tear pours, there’s no stopping them. Eddie falls on the floor, sobs escaping him uncontrollably.

Abby finds him a few minutes later, still crying and breathing in the cold damp air. Her gentle touch coaxes him out of his trance with Hen and Chim standing by her side, murmuring encouraging words to him.

“Eddie, please, I’m begging. You need to take a week off. The funeral was yesterday, honey. Take a week off, if not for you, for Chris,” Abby asks softly.

“The kitchen will still be here in a week.” Hen grabs his hand and squeezes. 

“We’ll take care of everything for you, man. Go be with your son,” Chimney adds.

Eddie feels like leaving his kitchen will destroy him all over again. But they are right. He needs to quiet his mind and be with Christopher. And together they will be able to find their new normal. 

There are going to be bad days and good days. There are going to be days that are just grey and quiet. 

And they are going to be mournful, but eventually they will pull through.

* * *

The apartment building where Eddie’s therapist has his office is overflowed with light. Most spaces are surrounded by glass panels and Eddie thinks that it’s very fitting to have a therapist office in such a bright and clear space.

Eddie rings the bell and Frank opens the door with a huge smile plastered on his face.

“What did you bring today?”

“The risotto we talked about last week. And your favorite.”

“The mushroom flan?”

“The mushroom flan.”

Eddie deflects talking about his personal issues by bringing food to Frank’s every week. At least he tries to deflect. Frank always finds a way to turn the tables on him.

Frank sits on his desk and Eddie takes the food out of its containers, plating them for Frank to taste.

“The risotto is made with arborio rice cooked in white wine. It has finely diced caramelized sweet potatoes and mushrooms with guajillo-garlic paste. A touch of cream and white truffle butter to give it unctuosity. At the restaurant, it’s going to be served over broiled jumbo asparagus.”

“Do you want to talk about what happened?”

“Shannon is gone, Frank. There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Okay.” Frank takes a fork full of flan into his mouth and moans in delight. “So how’s Chris doing?”

Eddie sighs. Frank and his tricks, bringing up Chris. He plays dirty. “He’s holding on.” Frank has this way of looking at Eddie when they discuss Chris that makes it seem as if Eddie’s talking about himself instead of his son. “We’ve been better.”

“Back to school?”

“Not yet. And I’m banned from my kitchen too,” Eddie adds and he feels his bitterness slip right out of him.

“Eddie…” Frank challenges.

“Fine. I’m not banned.” Eddie’s shoulders slump and he feels like a teenager. “I was politely asked to stay away because I was caught crying my heart out in the walk-in.”

“I know the walk-in and the kitchen are like a matryoshka of safe havens for you, but maybe, have you considered the possibility that you shouldn’t have been in that kitchen the day after the funeral?”

“It’s my place, where I thrive no matter what.”

“You can’t really _thrive_ while grieving. You need to make space for the sadness, Eddie. For you and for Christopher too. Let those around help you.”

“I’m trying. I haven’t texted Hen and Chimney in days.”

Frank arches an eyebrow at him.

“It’s been 36 hours since I last texted them, I swear.”

“And counting.”

“Yes, and counting.”

* * *

For whatever it’s worth, Eddie tries to listen to Frank. He tries to stay home and be as present as he can with Chris. But sometimes reality overwhelms him to the point that he loses himself all over again. 

That’s how five days into his week off of work, Eddie feels completely and absolutely adrift; being outside of his kitchen for so long was once unthinkable. He calls Isabel and asks her to watch Christopher for a few hours. He gives a half-assed explanation and makes up excuses, but there’s no need. He should know there’s never a need for excuses with her. She says yes in an instant, like she always does when faced with the opportunity to spend some time with her great-grandson.

And Eddie starts his journey back to himself.

* * *

The buzz of the restaurant already makes Eddie feel at ease. He walks the hallway standing tall, regaining his bearings and confidence. He barges into the kitchen, ready to take it by storm. A very loud stereo is blasting some song and a tall blond man talks to Chimney while flapping a brush in the air.

When the stranger turns around, he looks at Eddie, while pointing at him with the brush.

“Oh my god, it’s you. I am begging you, would you please tell me the secret to your tomatillo sauce?” the blond man asks. A smile so bright it’s blinding.

“Excuse me?” Eddie’s voice betrays him; it comes out high pitched and distraught. He is stunned in his place when the blond man starts singing.

“Listen, guys, this right here,” the tall man takes a piece of seabass in his hand and starts singing loudly some Pavarotti song. And in Italian nonetheless. “He’s saying fade all the stars. Fade all the stars.”

Eddie is baffled. And angry. But mostly baffled. Who is this stranger in his kitchen? Hen and Chimney didn’t mention anything about a tall blond gorgeous-

No.

Eddie turns around to find Abby standing behind him. “Who the hell is that?”

Abby chuckles in response, avoiding a straight answer. She puts a hand on Eddie’s shoulder and smiles, cocking her head in the blond man’s direction.

The stranger turns around and is now facing the staff on the grill. “You guys are my string section,” he says to them. “Listen, listen. He then says, ‘in the morning I am going to wake’. Vincero. I will win,” he belts out as he flaps his hands around mimicking an orchestra director for the whole staff to sing along.

“Grazie, grazie,” he bows and Eddie thinks he had never considered in all seriousness actually murdering someone. Until today.

“Excuse me.” Eddie arches an eyebrow and challenges the blond man. “Who do you think you are?”

“Evan Buckley,” the newcomer extends his hand but Eddie acts as if the gesture is going to go unnoticed. “And may I just say the world would be a dark and depressing place without your barramundi filet with tomatillo sauce.” 

This Evan Buckley guy takes a bow in front of Eddie, and when he lifts his head, he chuckles. “You can call me Buck, though.”

Eddie’s eyes feel dry and itchy. He’s staring without blinking. He thinks he hasn’t blinked once since he walked into the kitchen and noticed the scene before him. He turns around without uttering a word to this Buck guy and looks at Abby. “We need to talk.”

Abby stalks out of the kitchen into the wine cellar and Eddie follows suit.

“Abby, come on, the last thing I need right now is some lunatic in my kitchen.”

“He’s not a lunatic, he’s just a little... enthusiastic. God knows we could use some of that around here. Trust me, he’s great.”

“Enthusiastic? Are you kidding me? The guy thinks he’s Pavarotti.” This has to be a fever dream. He must be in his bed, asleep, and running a fever. This cannot be happening to him. It’s not possible.

Abby walks out of the cellar and leaves Eddie to mutter on his own. Her escape plan fails since Eddie follows her to the entrance of the restaurant where she’s trying to welcome some clients in.

Eddie offers to take the client’s coat moving rapidly, in an inattentive manner.

“Eddie…” Abby warns him.

“No, the only demand- the _only_ demand that I had when I took this position was that _I_ get to choose who I work with.”

“He was available, I had to take advantage of that,” Abby murmurs as she guides the couple to their table.

“Chim would have been just fine without me.”

“Here you go, they’ll be coming with the menu shortly,” she says to the clients and turns around, looking at Eddie. “Chim is going away,” Abby counters. “And soon. For the patisserie course that you procured for him because you want him to be your Executive Patisserie Chef. So don’t try to pull that one on me.”

“I would have been back before he left.”

“Yes, still...” Abby stops in her tracks by the kitchen’s door. 

Eddie’s afraid of what Abby is about to say. He’s still going to be a single father now. Christopher will have him and only him, and if anything happens his son is the only thing that matters.

But Abby closes her mouth before continuing and takes a breath. “Give him a chance, Buck is excellent.”

“I know nothing about him.” Eddie is relentless. Life has him cornered, but he can’t and won’t give up all of his life work to some random man that appeared out of nowhere.

“Give me some credit, Eddie. He was the sous chef at Cibreo.”

“Italian?” Eddie asks, shaking his head. “Italian?” he repeats himself, louder than he’d like. ”You bring a sous chef from an Italian restaurant and I’m the one- No.”

“We were lucky to get him. Another restaurant offered him the position of executive chef.”

And that sends Eddie for a loop. Taking a job as a sous chef instead of as an executive chef is unthinkable unless it was a mediocre restaurant and now Eddie needs to know what job offer this ridiculous man rejected to come work here under him. “Which restaurant?”

“Paloma.”

Paloma is an excellent restaurant, any chef would kill to be offered a job there. This doesn’t make any sense. Any sense at all. “Why wouldn’t he take that?” Eddie wonders as they walk back into the kitchen.

“Because he said he wanted to work with you,” Abby whispers. 

Eddie chances a glance at this Evan, Buck, whatever and catches the guy beaming at him with the cockiest smile.

Eddie looks past him, past that ridiculously enticing smile and-

There’s food on fire on a pan over the stove. Eddie grins mockingly at Buck and he gets a grin back. He cocks his head and gestures for Buck to look behind him.

Buck squints at Eddie, confusion drawn all over his face.

“The fire?” Eddie clarifies.

Buck turns around and gasps. He desperately waves a wet towel over the fire while Eddie stares in disbelief.

* * *

Eddie’s week of atonement is finishing and with it, his time with Chris who’s going back to school too.

The bed is warm and comfortable. Eddie’s not planning on leaving it anytime soon. Luckily his alarm clock hasn’t beeped yet and he rolls on his side and buries himself deeper under the covers. He peeks into the room and notices there’s too much light in his room for the alarm to have not sounded yet. 

Eddie turns around and blinks. It’s too bright and there’s a little hand patting on his shoulder.

“Daddy?”

“Chris, what are you-” He grabs his phone. Eight a.m. Shit, they are late.

“We’re late for school.”

“I’m sorry, Superman.” Eddie jumps out of his bed. He’s still dressed in the clothes he was wearing yesterday. “Go get changed-” Eddie looks over at Chris who’s staring back at him with an unamused frown on his face. “You already changed, good. Breakfast?”

“I already had juice and some cereal, dad.”

“That’s my boy,” Eddie pats Chris head on his way to the bathroom. “We’ll be out in a second, pal.”

It’s definitely a bad morning for Eddie. He had missed the market hours, so he won’t get the best and freshest produce for his return. Christopher had gotten to school late. When he returns home, he finds a mess all over. Clothes, books and toys on the floor, the shelves, and on every available surface. He needs to do the laundry and dishes and clean the bathroom and both their rooms.

* * *

Isabel had offered to pick Chris up after school and keep him for the evening so that Eddie could have his first night back at the restaurant without having to worry about his son.

Eddie’s always been grateful for his grandmother. She’s the one that had taken him in all those years ago when he’d left Texas in a rush, and she’s the one that had held his hand through thick and thin. Together with his aunt Pepa, they had been the foundations of Eddie’s life before Shannon came in.

His phone rings when he’s about to enter the restaurant and he picks up when he sees Pepa’s photo displayed on the screen.

“Edmundo,” Pepa greets him.

“Tía.”

“Eddito, mom broke her hip, she’s at the hospital and Chris is there with her. I’m on my way right now.”

“I’ll-”

“See you there.”

Eddie rushes into the restaurant and signals for Abby to come meet him out front.

“What’s going on?” Abby asks him.

“I just can’t catch a break, it seems. The universe must really hate me. I left Christopher with my grandma and she broke her hip. They’re in the hospital. I can’t-”

Eddie can’t stop pacing around and Abby grabs him by the elbow, grounding him. “Calm down, stop moving around.”

Eddie opens his mouth and then closes it when Buck appears out of nowhere.

“Hey, Abs, everything… Eddie! Welcome back!”

“Eddie has a family emergency and is about to leave,” Abby reveals, looking pointedly at Eddie.

“Oh,” Buck sounds deflated and disappointed. He stays a few feet away from them, looking over with worried eyes as Abby tries ushering Eddie away, guiding him towards the door. 

“Go check on Isabel, pick Chris up and go home. We’ll manage,” she tries to assure him.

“But-” Eddie feels as disappointed and deflated as Buck had sounded. He wanted this, he needed this. Life wants and needs otherwise, however.

“No. I don’t want to hear it. No buts, no maybes, no nothing. Pick up your son and go home.”

“Abby…”

“Go take care of your family and we’ll see you tomorrow.” Abby opens the door for him. “Go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About Pepa and Isabel, I'm going with my assumption that Pepa is Ramon's older sister. 
> 
> Oh, and also, it's my personal head canon that Shannon was a writer and it gave me a good way to punch us all in the gut with a call back to that letter from canon.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Comments and kudos feed my soul!


	3. Bitters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie’s always relied on his family for help. Especially when Shannon had been touring for weeks. Sometimes he thinks he’s been relying too much on his grandmother and it wasn’t fair.
> 
> He decides to call an agency to get a babysitter for Chris for the following night, but his son wants nothing to do with this plan. Yet Eddie needs to go back to work, to establish his position back in that kitchen before it’s too late and Buck takes over completely.

The false start at work feels like torture. He had left the restaurant in a hurry, without even saying goodbye. Or hello. Or anything at all. He assumes Abby has given the necessary explanations and as she had told him, tomorrow will be another day.

At the hospital, he checks on his grandmother while Pepa talks to the doctors. Christopher, being his charming self, had already befriended most of the staff. Eddie finds him chatting away in the middle of the hallway with two nurses in green scrubs.

“Chris,” he calls.

“Daddy!”

“Let’s go check on grandma, okay?”

“Yes, daddy,” Chris says, taking a few steps to approach Eddie. 

“Do you remember the room?”

“Of course. It’s room 3-0-5.”

“What a great memory, Superman.”

They walk together to the room and when they find it, Christopher flies inside and throws himself on a chair.

“Abuela…” Eddie greets her, “You okay?”

“Been better. Probably going to need surgery, Eddito.”

“I know. Pepa is talking to the doctors. I’m so sorry. If I didn’t-”

“Eddie, whatever you are going to say, don’t. It was an accident. This wasn’t your fault. I’m old and these things happen.”

“Yes, but-”

“Please, Eddie. Don’t.”

Eddie’s always relied on his family for help. Especially when Shannon had been touring for weeks. Sometimes he thinks he’s been relying too much on his grandmother and it wasn’t fair.

He decides to call an agency to get a babysitter for Chris for the following night, but his son wants nothing to do with this plan. Yet Eddie needs to go back to work, to establish his position back in that kitchen before it’s too late and Buck takes over completely.

When the sitter arrives, Christopher is in his room, door closed and clearly pissed off at his dad. Eddie approaches his door and talks to his son through it.

“Chris, Annie is here. She’ll stay with you until I come back, okay?”

When all he gets as a response is silence, he opens the door and walks in. “Chris…”

“Dad…” Chris mocks Eddie’s tone. It’s something he usually does when he’s angry and needs to let Eddie know without throwing a fit.

“Annie, the sitter, is here,” Eddie announces again, standing beside the door, trying to avoid invading Chris’ space.

“Okay.”

“I’m going to work.”

“Okay.”

“See you later.”

No answer. Eddie’s late and he needs to leave. “Love you.”

He’ll fix this tomorrow.

* * *

Before a shift begins at the restaurant, Eddie always gets the whole staff together to share a meal. On a normal day, Chim is the one in charge of preparing it. Today, being Eddie’s first day back, Buck’d offered to cook a special meal.

Eddie’s busying himself with his phone. He scrolls idly through his social media. Truth is, he only pretends to be scrolling through his social media, when actually, he’s staring at Buck. The guy looks so comfortable. Too comfortable for his own good. He’s chatting, bickering, laughing and Hen, Chim, and Abby look delighted.

But Eddie’s heart breaks. It should be him having fun with his crew, making jokes, enjoying the anticipation of the night to come. Instead, there’s an unknown man taking his place and a knot the size of an elephant in Eddie’s throat.

They pass the plates around until everyone’s ready to eat, except Eddie. 

He rejects the last plate clearly meant for him without even looking at it. He keeps playing around with his phone and he knows what it must look like. It will look childish, but he doesn’t eat in the afternoons. He never has, what he used to do was find a moment right before shift started to devour something in two bites and be done with it. It’s his usual routine and no one has ever said anything about it. Only now, there’s a strange man in his kitchen looking at him with sad eyes and a very disappointed look on his face. Eddie thinks Buck might even be pouting.

“Only a full cook can judge food. When you’re hungry, everything tastes better than it actually is,” Buck asserts to the table. It’s a jab at Eddie and he gets it loud and clear.

“I never eat in the afternoon.”

Buck grabs his plate and walks slowly across the room and into Eddie’s personal space. “My grandmother whispered this recipe into my ear on her deathbed. She brought it over from the old country and I,” he places it before Eddie, “made it especially for you today.” Buck smiles softly and Eddie’s brain malfunctions.

He switches his glance between the plate and Buck, and then glances to Hen and Chimney who nod in encouragement. Eddie takes a bite, chews loudly and his pettiness melts away in an instant.

Okay, he’s going to have to admit this is a good pasta dish. With his mouth still full, he smirks at Buck and asks, “happy?”

“Very,” Buck beams satisfied and walks back to where Abby is standing.

She cocks her eyebrow at him. “I thought your grandmother still lived in Miami.”

“Well, you know, we all thought she wasn’t going to make it. It was like a miracle.”

Hen and Chim chuckle and Eddie feels the heat of anger arise in him. This man dares come in his kitchen and make him look like an ass. He tries to take over and manipulates his way into the crew’s good graces. Eddie won’t allow it. He storms out into the kitchen as Buck repeats himself, “It was a miracle.”

In his office, Eddie starts forming a plan. He divides the menu into two halves, albeit not two even halves. If they can keep their work far from each other, maybe he can survive this. The list includes appetizers and entrees, but he leaves out the desserts. Chim usually works on them by himself and Eddie only steps in when it gets too out of control for one person, which is almost never. Their system is a well-oiled machine and it takes several catastrophes to break it.

Abby walks in on him compiling the list. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to find a way to make this mess work.”

“It’s not a mess. It’s help. We need it.”

“Yeah, well…”

“Please, play nice.”

“I wonder if you’ve said the same to him,” Eddie replies as Buck comes to stand by his door.

“I’m sorry, really, I didn’t intend to make you-” Buck says, but Eddie cuts him off with a raised hand.

“Stop talking.” Eddie thinks that at least the man has the decency to look dejected, even if it’s insincere. “I don’t care. I have a plan.”

“Okay?” There’s a puzzled look on both Abby and Bucks’ faces.

“You take care of these dishes,” Eddie orders Buck and hands over the list, “I take care of the rest. This way we don’t get in each other’s-”

“But your half is bigger than mine,” Buck protests.

Eddie frowns at him with a questioning look. How dare he?

“Right, right, yeah, I’ve got some pretty big items, though. I got beef. And fish!” Buck walks away from Eddie and into the kitchen. “Showtime, folks, let’s go!” he calls out to the staff.

Eddie stays at his desk and takes a deep breath. He’s conjuring up all the patience he’s known to lack. But he has to give this a shot. Even if Abby didn’t go around the correct way of choosing a sous chef, Eddie trusts her judgment and the high standards she applies in choosing who works for her.

By some miracle that Eddie’s not willing to question right now, the night progresses smoothly. There are no major kitchen dramas and Abby walks in a few times with compliments for Eddie from a few clients. Even Buck is on his best behavior and managing quite alright. This is the reason behind Eddie’s irrevocable need to walk over to where Buck is stirring a sauce and purposely look for trouble.

Eddie stands beside Buck and stares at the saucepan Buck’s working with. “Have you seasoned that right?”

“Yes, chef,” Buck replies with grace, and Eddie hates him. Buck goes to grab a spoon and dip it in the sauce. He moves the spoon upward, taking it near to Eddie’s face. 

But Eddie knows what he’s doing. He’s taking a cheap shot as he chooses to ignore Buck. He’s going to be petty about it and no one can stop him. He takes his own spoon, dips it in the sauce, and licks it clean, leaving Buck with his spoon abandoned to the side. Eddie turns to leave when Buck stops him.

“So? How is it?”

“It’s okay, I guess.”

* * *

After finishing the last set of appetizers for the night, Eddie decides he’s going to help with desserts. It’s not like Chim needs the help, more like Eddie needs to take a breather even if it means walking into Chim’s territory and tolerating a few sarcastic comments. The need to walk away from Buck for a few minutes and let his mind disengage from the fight instinct beats the terror of Chim’s sarcasm.

To plate the cranberry-orange pudding he’s working on, Eddie needs to grab a caramel nest from the table a few feet away. He turns briskly on his feet, stumbling into Buck before he takes the first step. 

“Hey, Buckley, watch it.”

“Sorry, chef,” Buck says and moves out of the way, gesturing for Eddie to pass in front of him. “So… Can I ask you something?”

“I’m wondering if I really have a choice.”

“Where did you learn to cook so well?”

“My grandmother,” Eddie replies curtly. It’s obvious Buck’s trying to be smooth and start a conversation to mellow him out.

“Your grandma? Seriously? I thought you were gonna say you studied under…” Buck ponders his words. “Alain Passard at L’Arpege or something.”

Eddie wonders if Buck is mocking him. He wonders how true his curiosity is. “Oh, but I did. Just... my grandma was better and she never threw plates at me.” There’s no humor in Eddie’s voice. He’s just stating facts.

Eddie keeps working on his plate, trying to cover the pudding with the caramel nest. There’s a hovering presence behind him, curious eyes boring a hole into his steadiness. Buck is staring at him, his body in close proximity to Eddie’s. 

Too close. 

Buck’s breath warms Eddie’s neck and he shivers, goosebumps taking over his whole body. As the tension keeps growing inside of Eddie, the caramel nest crumbles in his hands and it makes him groan in frustration. 

“I need more space.” He takes two plates and walks away from Buck to another counter in the far corner of the kitchen. He settles the plates down when a deep voice resonates in his ears.

“I have another question.”

The second caramel nest drops to the floor as Eddie jumps, startled. “Fuck!” 

“Swear jar,” Chimney proclaims from his station.

“No,” Eddie grumbles, but he should know better. Buck is relentless and he’s going to follow him around like a lost puppy until he gets the answers out of Eddie that he’s looking for.

“Why are you so mad at me?”

“I’m not-” Eddie starts.

“No, no. You are. You’re very mad.”

“Look, man, this is my kitchen, I worked really hard to get here and I’m not going to let you take it away from me.”

Buck looks hurt, like he wasn’t expecting that kind of answer from Eddie, but he presses on. “What makes you think that I actually want to take it away from you?”

“What else could you possibly want?” Eddie turns his back on Buck and goes into the walk-in freezer. 

Of course, Buck follows him in. What did Eddie expect?

“Eddie, I don’t need this job. I can work wherever I want. I’d like to work here because it’s an honor to cook with you, but I’d rather work somewhere I’m welcomed. So if you want me to go, just say the word.”

Eddie remains silent. He doesn’t want Buck working here, but he knows he’s only being petty about it because Abby went over his head to hire the guy. He also knows he’s going to need help in the coming months while Chris adapts to their new normal. While he adapts to begin a single parent.

Eddie opens his mouth, but immediately closes it. Buck looks puzzled, Eddie is confused and he ends up not uttering a word. 

With the cold air surrounding them, Eddie loses track of time. Abby finds them staring into each other’s eyes. “What’s going on here?”

Buck keeps his eyes fixed on Eddie and doesn't even spare a glance at Abby. “Well?”

Eddie blinks. And he blinks again, but he doesn’t answer. Buck starts taking off his apron and Eddie could easily let him walk away. He could just let him pack his stuff and go. But that’s not what he needs, he needs this man to stay and make it work.

“Wait a minute. Where are you going?” Abby asks Buck.

“I’m sorry, Abs, you’ll have to find someone else.” Buck walks out of the walk-in back into the kitchen and Abby follows him with a still silent Eddie in tow.

“Eddie, what did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything.” Feigning ignorance will not get Eddie anywhere but he can’t process whatever is going on between the three of them.

“Buck, please, we need you,” Abby urges.

“Well, I have to hear that from him.”

“It’s my restaurant.”

“I know. I know, Abby, and I’m sorry. It might be your restaurant, but  _ this  _ is his kitchen. Without him, this is all a pile of hot metal and dirty dishes. So, I’m sorry, but he decides.”

“Eddie,” Abby pleads.

Eddie looks at Chim, who smiles and nods, then stares at Buck. He’s standing in the middle of the hall, stereo and knives under his arms with a mixed expression on his face. It’s defiance but also-

Sorrow. And Eddie knows he needs to make this work. He knows it down to his bones. All the anger and pettiness dissipate from his body. He exhales and shakes his head slowly. “Seems like you’ve left me with no choice.”

“Do you want me to stay?”

“Didn’t I just say that?” Eddie takes a deep breath while he turns on the blowtorch.

“No? I didn’t hear those words.”

A beat. 

Eddie will have to say it aloud for everyone in the kitchen to hear. It’s come to this. Buck made it so. “I want you to stay.”

“Love to. Thought you’d never ask,” Buck singsongs and smirks at Eddie. 

Oh, little piece of shit. There’s a fire that takes over from within Eddie’s soul; a mix of anger and defeat, but also amusement.

Buck trots his way back into the kitchen isle, leaves his knives on the table, and places the stereo underneath. He turns around to look at Eddie and gives him the brightest smile Eddie has ever seen.

“Oh, and Eddie?”

“Hmm?”

“The fire?” Buck points to where Eddie’s towel meets the seemingly forgotten blowtorch.

Eddie throws the towel to the ground and stomps on in.

And to think he was convinced he was doing so good before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Comments and kudos feed my soul!


	4. Agave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Dad,” Chris sniffles with that lip tremble he always does when he’s upset and Eddie’s heart shatters like crystal.  
> “I’m so sorry,” Eddie apologizes as he kisses Chris’ curls. “I’m trying. I swear I’m trying. And I’m so sorry that I left you here with this girl that decided that it was okay to leave you all alone.”  
> “It’s okay, dad. I wasn’t scared, I knew you were coming back to me.”

The moment Eddie opens the door he understands something went completely wrong during the few hours he’s been away. It’s too quiet, but also not quiet enough. There’s a loud TV playing some cartoon somewhere and as he makes his way through the house, the sitter is nowhere to be found. 

Eddie’s heart breaks at the sight of Chris lying on his gigantic bed surrounded by almost every single toy he’s got and the TV on at maximum volume. Eddie scoops him up to take him to his own room and Chris stirs in his arms. “Hey, mijo.”

“Dad,” Chris sniffles with that lip tremble he always does when he’s upset and Eddie’s heart shatters like crystal.

“I’m so sorry,” Eddie apologizes as he kisses Chris’ curls. “I’m trying. I swear I’m trying. And I’m so sorry that I left you here with this girl that decided that it was okay to leave you all alone.”

“It’s okay, dad. I wasn’t scared, I knew you were coming back to me.”

Chris is a brave kid, he’s been through a lot and yet, he’s resilient and good. Such a good kid, Eddie feels like he doesn’t deserve him, he feels like the worst parent in the history of bad parents. And he has some experience in that field with the parents that he had to put up with.

He knows this isn’t the first time a sitter doesn’t match his needs. They’ve had a few bad sitters here and there, but never to the point of leaving Chris completely alone. He doesn't know how he’s going to fix this.

Balancing work and home life had always been a challenge for him. Things were made even more difficult when Shannon had to go on tour, but they always managed. They’d found ways to compromise and complement each other’s absences. But now that Eddie is all Chris has, there’s no one to complete the half that Shannon left vacant in Chris’ life. 

“I’ll make it up to you, okay?”

“Okay.”

An idea comes to Eddie’s mind. It’s something he used to do before Chris started school, when he was a toddler. It was easier back then, but they can make it work now.

“How do you feel about coming to the restaurant with me this Friday?”

Chris opens his eyes, big and wide, the hope mixed with sleepiness brightens up his face. “Really?”

“Yes, really.”

Chris cheers vehemently and Eddie relaxes. Those loud cheers and his son's happiness make everything, every false start and every step in the wrong direction, worth it.

* * *

When Friday afternoon rolls around, Eddie picks Chris up from school. He drives them back home to change clothes and get ready to go to the restaurant. Christopher's excitement is palpable and Eddie texts Chim, letting him know he will be arriving later than usual and with a little surprise.

The moment Chris walks inside the kitchen, every single staff member turns to him and cheers. He gets many high-fives and a few ruffles of his curls. 

They all adore Christopher and Eddie breathes a little easier at that.

Right before the shift starts, Eddie sets Chris down on a chair at the end of the kitchen, in plain sight, but far from any danger. Chris reads a book he brought with him and Eddie gets a moment to turn his attention back to the kitchen, checking on his son every few minutes. 

“Chef?” Chim calls for him.

“Yeah, okay, guys, I need two tartare, four flan, one crab,” Eddie orders the staff. 

He turns to Hen and grimaces when he sees Chris in the exact same position he left him in, but now looking bored and annoyed, book forgotten on the counter next to him. “He hasn’t been eating. I try to give him what he wants, but he starts picking at the food… Shannon used to make dinner for him. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong,” Eddie explains.

“A lot has happened. Give him some time.”

“I know, I know. I just wish I could-”

“You two need to adapt to this new normal, right?”

“I guess.” Eddie can feel Buck hovering around them. He’s clearly eavesdropping and Eddie decides to cut the conversation short, right then and there. He doesn’t need the new guy sticking his nose in his issues.

“Be right back,” Buck announces as he walks away from them, taking with him a bowl packed with basil.

Eddie’s eyes follow Buck as he approaches Chris. He can’t hear what they are saying but he stares at them as Buck gives Chris some basil leaves to smell and shows him how to separate leaves from stems. Chris starts helping him with the task at hand and the frown on his face starts to melt away. 

As they keep talking, Chris looks more and more amused. 

The kitchen demands Eddie’s attention again, like it always does, taking his mind away from his son for a few minutes. But the distraction must’ve been longer than he thought because when he turns to check on Chris again, he is devouring a pasta dish eagerly. Eddie makes a move to approach his son, but he stops dead on his tracks when he hears him talking.

“No, Bucky, I don’t think they had proms in Ancient Rome,” Chris says all matter-of-factly. 

All Eddie hears is ‘Bucky’ and his heart stops _. _ The tenderness of his son nicknaming Buck sends Eddie’s head for a spin.

“They didn’t?” Buck questions.

“No.”

“Oh, I thought they did,” Buck says as he raises his shoulders. “Must’ve had them confused with the Greeks.”

Eddie is enthralled by the exchange while he stares at them from a distance. He cocks an eyebrow at Chimney. The question he won’t ask out loud is clear enough that Chim knows what Eddie is asking with just one simple gesture. 

All Eddie wants to know is whose feet is he going to have to kiss, who was the magnificent genius that managed to get some food into his son. 

When Chim signals at Buck with his head, Eddie frowns. It’s confusion and awe, with a hint of relief, all marked down on the creases on his forehead.

There has to be a special kind of hell for people like Eddie, who doubt and question, and mistrust and speculate about every single good thing in his life. He puts up walls and barriers, and barbed wire and alarms all around himself.

And Buck goes and does this. 

It’s unfair. He never stood a chance against the charismatic Evan Buckley.

Eddie knows when to be the bigger man. When to push aside his trust issues and his doubts. So when Buck looks at Eddie again, he takes a breath and puts a hand over his heart. “Thank you _ , _ ” he mouths. 

Maybe Buck is not as bad as he thought.

* * *

Chris ends up spending the whole weekend at the restaurant. Eddie is surprised by how well Buck and Chris get along. They click almost instantly and Chris takes an immediate liking to Buck. Saturday flies by with Christopher helping around in the kitchen until he gets tired, asks Eddie if he can go to his office and falls asleep slumped over the desk.

Sunday comes along and Eddie feels lighter than he’s felt in a while. It might be the fact that Buck makes Chris laugh and it’s the first time Eddie sees him howling with laughter since Shannon died.

While Buck serves dinner for the staff, Chris sits beside Eddie and pats him on the shoulder. “Dad.”

“What?”

“I don’t want to be an astronaut anymore,” Chris declares as he munches on some pizza bread.

“And what do you want to be?” Eddie asks.

“A chef, like you and Bucky.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Yes, I want to learn to make pasta as good as Buck makes it.”

Eddie chokes on his own spit and he looks at Buck, whose grin is so wide it must be visible from outer space.

“Okay, Christopher.”

A plate reaches Eddie and he tries to reject it like he always does, but Christopher forces Eddie to grab it. “You need to eat your veggies to be strong, daddy. That’s what you always say.”

“Right,” Eddie scoffs and the table erupts in laughter.

“Yes, Eddie, you need to eat your veggies,” Hen mocks him and Chris beams at her. 

There’s a subtle blush creeping on Eddie’s cheeks and he tries to ignore it to no avail since Buck walks around the table and takes a seat beside Chris.

“It’s hot in here, huh?” Buck looks at Eddie whose cheeks are now completely red. Buck turns his attention to Chris. “Liking the pizza, little man?”

Eddie breathes out and munches on a piece of broccoli.

“Always!” Chris cheers.

* * *

By the end of the night on Sunday, Chris is asleep in Eddie’s office. Since he has school the next day, Eddie decides to leave earlier than he’s used to. He walks into his office and picks Chris up, grabbing his crutches and putting them under his arm. He’s used to maneuvering with bags, crutches and a kid. Eddie stumbles out of his office loaded with all of his and Chris’ things and makes his way through the hallway.

“God, I love kids,” Buck murmurs as Eddie walks past him towards the door. Eddie assumes Buck didn’t mean for him to hear it, but he stops in his tracks and turns his head to look back at the kitchen over Chris’ head. 

To look at Buck, specifically.

“I love this one.”

“He’s ridiculously adorable, chef.”

“Yeah, I know.” Eddie smiles at Buck. “You’ll be alright here?”

“Yes, chef,” Buck and Chim answer in unison, sounding like two impertinent teenagers talking to their dad. Eddie frowns at them and groans.

“Go, chef, everything is under control,” Hen reassures him as she gently pushes him out the door.

* * *

Monday mornings never agreed with Eddie. 

He needs to go to the market and he decides to take Chris with him after his son begs for that. Chris is sleepy, he yawns and falls asleep on the ride. They had a late night and prime market hours make it so that they only had a few hours of sleep. But Chris seems happy to be sharing this time with Eddie and right now, that’s all Eddie wants. 

After the trip to the market, they go back home and cuddle on the couch for a while. Eddie sets his alarm for seven a.m. right before he falls asleep.

The alarm doesn’t ring. Or it does and Eddie simply turned it off. He doesn’t know how, but by some miracle, his body jerks awake at a quarter to eight. He wakes Chris up and takes him to school late. Again.

So far, they’ve forgiven every late arrival or absence, but also warned him about it. The principal even told him he needed to stick to a routine that fits Chris’ better. They’ve considered counseling and therapy and he’s grateful that they care about his son as much as they do, but sometimes… sometimes it’s all too much and being late doesn’t mean anything beyond an alarm that didn’t go off in time.

Still, after another lecture at the principal’s office, Eddie calls the agency to confirm they are sending a new babysitter for the next few days. He doesn’t have a choice, he needs to find someone to help lighten the load, even if it’s only momentarily.

* * *

“When we get to the restaurant tomorrow-” Chris starts.

“Sorry?”

“I want to help Bucky. I don’t want to take a book. I’ll do my homework before we go to the restaurant.”

“Chris, you’re not coming to the restaurant tomorrow, it’s a school night and look at what happened last night. A sitter is coming over for the rest of the week until I find a more permanent solution.”

The patented lip tremble makes an appearance and Chris rushes to his bedroom, closing the door with a thud.

* * *

The new sitter lasts two days before the agency switches her for another, and then another, and by the next weekend Christopher is angry and Eddie finds himself at a crossroads. “He wants to come to the restaurant every single day. And I can’t-” He needs to find someone to help him soon and he relies on venting to Hen and that she would help him think of some sort of a solution. “I can’t keep doing whatever he wants, you know?”

“Look, Denny pulls that crap all the time, at least he tries anyway. You just have to settle some ground rules. You’re not a machine, Eddie.”

“I know. But I don’t have a good sitter I can trust, my grandma can’t help me and I’m out of resources.”

“You can always ask us for help. Karen can help with Chris if you need it.”

“Thanks, really. We’re trying a new sitter today.”

“Oh.”

“We’ll see how this one goes. If it doesn't work out, I might ask Karen for help for a few days, if that’s okay.” 

“Of course it’s okay,” Hen smiles at Eddie. “Just let us know.”

“Thank you… I’m- Chris is not talking to me at the moment.”

“It’ll pass. Give him time.”

* * *

Sometimes locating Buck in the kitchen is not an easy task. He’s got weird habits and from time to time he disappears. 

Tonight, Eddie finds Buck on the phone in his office, crouching beside the chair, clicking a pen in his hand repeatedly. “How’s she doing?”

Eddie shouldn’t overhear Buck’s private conversation. He came all the way into the office and away from the kitchen for a reason. But Eddie hears his name and tunes in to what Buck’s saying. “I think Eddie would really click with her. And Chris? Even more.”

If Buck is trying to set him up with some woman, Eddie is about to bring down his whole plan. What the hell does this man think he’s doing? Why would he even consider it appropriate to set Eddie up? He’s fuming when Buck stands up, turns around and stares at him.

“Chef, sorry, didn’t see you there. Need the room?”

“Listen, Buckley, I don’t know what your deal is, but if you’re trying to set me up-”

“Sorry?”

“You’re trying to set me up with some woman…”

“I’m what now?”

“I heard you.”

“I’m not sure you really  _ heard  _ me.”

“Oh, but I did,” Eddie mocks him.

“Do you know who Carla is? I assume you do since you’ve known Abby for quite some time.”

“I-”

“Carla?”

“Yes, I know who Carla is.”

“Cool,” Buck walks right past Eddie.

“This conversation is not over.”

“We have a kitchen to tend to, chef. Talk to Abby tomorrow. She’ll explain.” Buck makes his way to the kitchen, leaving Eddie standing there, tremendously confused.

Eddie sends Abby a text the second Buck is out the door of his office.

_ Buck told me to talk to you _

_ Tomorrow I’ll have news. 10 am before our meeting? _

_ He didn’t explain anything _

_ Eddie, please. Tomorrow. _

_ Fine _

_ Good night! _

_ Good night. _

* * *

The quietness of the restaurant in the morning grants Eddie a sort of harmony he doesn’t get anywhere else. He walks in and takes a seat at the bar, checking his phone repeatedly. Abby enters the restaurant a few minutes later.

“Morning.”

“Good morning, Abby.”

“So... I’ve got news.”

“I have no idea what’s going on,” Eddie fidgets on his seat. He puts his phone on the bar, face down, and then turns it back to face up.

“Buck really didn’t say anything last night, huh?”

“No, I told you, he didn’t explain.”

“Okay, remember Carla?”

“Yes, your friend? The one that used to help you with your mom?”

“Yes, Buck had this magnificent idea...”

“I’m listening.”

“He thinks she could help you with Chris, and I asked her and she’s been looking for a job for a month or so.”

“So she’s available?”

“Yes.”

“And this was Buck’s idea?”

“Yes, it didn’t even cross my mind to ask her if she was available.”

Something clicks in Eddie’s mind as he understands there’s some information that’s been hidden from him. “How does Buck know about Carla anyway?”

“Oh, that’s a whole other story.”

“Okay?” Eddie drums his fingers over the countertop.

“I’ll tell you someday, if that’s what you want, sure. I’ll text you her contact information, okay?”

“Great, thanks.”

“Don’t thank me, thank Buck. He was the one with the brilliant idea. Now, about the new menu items. The risotto?”

Eddie talks about food and wine and cocktails with Abby for an hour or two, but in the back of his mind, there are questions creeping up on him. Questions that will need answers eventually.

He’s not convinced he’ll like those answers when he gets them.

* * *

Carla turns out to be a godsend and Eddie could kiss the floor she walks on. Their schedules match, her salary is a non-issue, her demands are completely reasonable and the most important thing of all is that Christopher loves her.

She helps him enough, but not too much, so that he still gets to keep his independence and Chris radiates happiness. She’s responsible and fun and well versed in dealing with a child with CP, which is a surprise for Eddie.

The main issue is that he still hasn’t explained to Christopher that he will be spending a lot of time with Carla. Sometimes even more so than with Eddie, mostly at nights when Eddie needs to be at the restaurant.

When Eddie finally breaks the news to Chris about it, he gets mad. And he gets mad in a way Eddie hasn’t seen before in a long time. He lashes out and cries and screams.

“You’re shipping me away to Carla because you don’t want me at the restaurant with you.”

“Chris, no-”

“Then why?”

“You need to have less hectic hours, Chris. You need to sleep and eat and do your homework and-”

“And you don’t want me there.”

“No, that’s not-” 

“You don’t want me there.”

“Come on, Superman, you know that’s not it. I work too many hours at night and you need to sleep and stick to a routine so that you can shine.” Eddie’s heart is breaking. “I know I’m doing everything wrong, but I'm doing my best, okay?”

Chris’ tears fall down his cheeks and he sniffles. “You’re not doing  _ everything  _ wrong.”

“Thanks, buddy,” Eddie chuckles as he ruffles Chris’ hair. “Why don’t you think of something I can do to make it up to you?”

“You mean like a wish?”

“Yeah, you wish for something and I’ll try to make it happen.”

“Can I save it for later?”

“Sure.”

* * *

Eddie feels like a convict awaiting a sentence that just won’t come. After two days, he wonders if Chris has forgotten about the whole wish deal since he’s been having such a great time with Carla. A few days later, when Eddie takes Chris to the park, the waiting ends. Chris is wasting his energy away, playing around while Eddie looks at him from a bench. 

Until Eddie notices a little hand waving at him.

“Ready to go home, mijo?”

“Maybe?”

“Why maybe?” Eddie squints and Chris laughs at him.

“Today is Saturday?”

“Yes?” Eddie finds himself at a loss. He has no idea what plan is churning in that little mind.

“And tomorrow is Sunday.”

“Yes, tomorrow is Sunday,” Eddie replies.

“You’re not working on Monday, right?”

“No, we don’t work on Mondays, but you already know that.” Eddie starts leading Christopher to their car. He tries to think if Monday is a relevant date for Chris. There are no birthdays yet, no anniversaries, no celebrations.

Chris’ eyes are shining and Eddie finds it mesmerizing. The way his son can brighten up any day with just a smile and a bunch of ridiculous questions that make no sense at all.

“So, Buck is not working?” 

Whatever is going on finally clicks in Eddie’s mind. Chris wants something. Eddie ponders to himself if he’s going to fulfill that wish he promised a few days ago. And now he’s scared Chris wants to involve Buck on that wish of his. “No, Buck isn’t working.”

“Great. I’m ready to ask for my wish, then.”

And there it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Comments and kudos feed my soul!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Kudos and comments feed my soul!


End file.
